


Insecurity

by BlueKath



Series: Against The Odds [3]
Category: Cats - Andrew Lloyd Webber
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 12:43:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9727394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueKath/pseuds/BlueKath
Summary: After the Jellicle Ball and the kiss, Mistoffelees finds himself questioning his preferences





	

**Mistoffelees**

I twisted my paws and flicked my tail, as I paced around my room, sighing every now and then. I couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss Tugger stole from me the night of the ball. It had been a month since that night and I couldn’t stop it from replaying in my head, shivering at the thought of his soft lips against my own. Everyone knew how good looking Tugger was, there was no denying it, but he was also known as a flirt and a player. He wasn’t even a full grown tom yet and he already had older queens like Bombalurina, Exotica and even Tantomile swooning over him. But none of that seemed to matter to me when we kissed and I didn’t know how to deal with that. And the son of a pollicle’s pestering ever since that day was not helping me understand what I was feeling. And then there was Macavity’s appearance. While he hadn’t hurt anyone I knew I still should warn Munkustrap about his little visit, but that would mean explaining why I was out that night and him finding out I disobeyed. “Misto?” The silver tabby called softly from the door, startling me.

“Is something troubling you, tux?” He asked gently, leaning against the wall and I pawed my ear, pouting, flicking my tail again.

“I did something wrong and I want to tell you, but I don’t want you to hate me.” I whined and he chuckled lowly, pulling me into a hug, nuzzling my head softly.

“Oh, Misto. I would never hate you because you sneaked out to see the Ball.”

“You knew?” I gasped, looking up wide eyed and he smirked, one brow raised. “Of course you knew.” I groaned, hiding my face in his chest and he laughed again.

“I never expected you to pair up with Tugger, though.”

“Are you sure you don’t hate me?”

“Of course I don’t hate you, Misto. You should’ve listened to me and stayed at Jenny’s, but you’re always so obedient, prim and proper, that sometimes I don’t even think you’re a real cat!” He said playfully and we chuckled, knowing I wasn’t that innocent. I sighed lightly, taking in Munk’s musky scent to help me to calm down.

I wanted to tell him about the kiss, about how Tugger had made me feel, about my wanting more than just a kiss and how unsure I was about that because of the golden tom’s fame and personality, but the Maine Coon was his brother and I didn’t know how he would react. “By the way, if that’s what Tugger's using as leverage to tease you this past few weeks, say the word and I’ll make him stop, alright? You don’t have to endure his incessant nagging because of that. I know you like to deal with things alone but Tugger can be difficult.” He said and I sighed, knowing that was my chance to tell him about the kiss.

“We saw Macavity.” I instead whispered after a while and he tensed, stepping back and staring into my eyes.

“He was here? Where?”

“Near the dens. He seemed to be headed towards the Ball, but he heard us and stopped. I used a magic trick and he chased it away.”

“He didn’t see you, right?” “No.” I shook my head and he breathed out in relief, hugging me again. “You should’ve told me that sooner, Misto!” he scolded, tightening his arms around me. “Don’t ever hide anything like this from me again, alright?” I nodded and he sighed again. “I’ll go out and talk to the Protectors. He hasn’t made any appearances after that, but he didn’t come here for a visit, that’s for sure.” He said, nuzzling my head before he went out of the den in a hurry and I sighed, relieved. At least that was out of the way, which left me with only the kiss to deal with.

Knowing I would get nowhere walking around inside the den I decided to go out for a walk. The junkyard was surprisingly quiet tonight, just a few kittens running around, playing, and even fewer grown Jellicles out. Jelly and Jenny were talking in front of their dens, watching over the youngsters, Coricopat, Tantomile and Cassandra were talking quietly on the roof of a car and Skimble was napping, laying over a drawer. After stopping by the psychic twins and tan queen and talking with them briefly, I decided to go over to the orange tabby. The Railway Cat was the one everyone could go to when they had a problem and needed to talk about it or needed some advice, since he was one of the least judgmental and most supportive adults in the tribe. He was always willing to help and he was definitely more available then Munkustrap.

“Skimble… Do you mind?” I asked shyly, motioning to the space next to him and his green eyes opened slowly, focusing on me, before he nodded.

“Of course not, lad. What can ol’ Skimble help you with?”

“I was wondering if I could talk to you. If you’re not too tired, that is…” I clawed the wood lightly and he chuckled.

“I was just taking a cat nap. Tell me what’s troubling that little head of yours and I’ll see what I can do to help.”

“Alright, but you have to promise not to tell anyone…”

“You know I would never,” he said putting a hand over his chest as if he had been gravely offended before smiling it off. “Now, what’s wrong?”

“Alright… Skimble is it normal for toms to… like other toms?” I whispered, looking over the clearing making sure everyone else was still busy and not paying attention to us before turning back to the orange tabby, who had a surprised look on his face.

“Huh… It’s a bit unusual, we don’t see that every day. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that…” He fought with his words and I frowned making him sigh. “Look, lad. It’s not as unusual as one would have you to believe, but most don’t encourage it. In fact, some people around here would even go as far as reprehend that sort of behavior.” he said, almost in mockery, and I looked over the clearing again.

“But is it… wrong?”

“I don’t think anything, short of torturing and killing, that makes you happy is wrong. Why are you asking this, Misto? Do you think you may be liking another tom?” He asked with no judgment on his voice or eyes and I laid down next to him, huffing.

“Yes. I’m not sure, but…” I shook my head, hiding my face on my paws.

“Why don’t you tell me what happened?” he asked and I hesitated, not knowing how he would take it. While Skimble was a great listener and never acted like our troubles were silly, like most of the other adults, there was no lost love between him and the Curious Cat.

“I sneaked out to watch the Jellicle Ball last month. With Tugger.” I said ignoring his eye roll. “And after the mating dance he just… Kissed me.” I lowered my voice, going back to clawing the wood beneath us, focusing on my paws. “I know he is a big flirt and he’s always looking for trouble, and I’ll probably end up hurt, but I’ve been feeling weird ever since the kiss. At first I was really mad at him because it was my first kiss and I thought he was making fun of me. But he said he wasn’t and after I cooled off, I started thinking about it and I’m not sure how I feel anymore.” I hid my face with my paws again, feeling my tail twist around nervously. “And ever since that night he can’t see me anywhere without just dropping whatever he’s doing to come near me and make my day miserable”

“Do you want to kiss him again?” He asked quietly, pulling at my arm softly and I groaned, nodding. “Misto, look at me.” He asked with a kind but serious tone and I did as he said. “Look, kid. You’re either confused because that was your first kiss and it was right after the mating dance, which means more than I can explain to you right now. Or you’re actually attracted to toms, or one tom specifically.” “How do I know which it is?” I sighed. “I might not be the right cat to answer that. You should ask Mungojerrie. He knows better than I do.” He smiled gently and my jaw went slack. “I can tell you one thing for sure though, lad. You better be sure before you do anything that could get the word around, because even though you have Munkustrap to protect and support you, and I know you’re talking to me because you think he won’t but he will be by your side no matter what, lad. Anyway, even though you have him and Cassandra to stand by you, they can’t protect you from everything and you’ll need to be strong if you find out you like toms, because some cats around here will get really judgmental, really fast.” He warned, nuzzling my head kindly, showing me that, no matter what, he’d be by my side too.

“And you won’t mind if I actually end up with Tugger?” I teased and he groaned dramatically, before chuckling a bit.

“Look, I don’t know what Tugger’s inclination is or what his reasons were to kiss you, but I can tell you one thing: if this kiss between of the two of you is anything more than just a kiss and you actually end up having anything serious with him, you’ll have a good part of the older Jellicles raining down on you. Maybe Tugger and I don’t always see eye to eye, but I can tell you that without a doubt, he’s the tom you want by your side to face that.” I smiled at this, feeling a bit more reassured. Now I just needed to find Mungojerrie.


End file.
